“Part-time retail slave by day, destroyer of cheap beer tater and tots by night. Warning: snark may hit levels unsuitable for folks not as cool as this timeline.”

What does this self-absorbed line of failed humor and obviously self-loathing tell us? Well, to start, that this imaginary Tweeter exudes a defensive tone which he/she hopes comes across as a plea for attention to picked up by others with a propensity to hit the “Follow” button, even when against their better judgment. It’s entirely plausible that someone in the Twittersphere also dislikes their means of paying the bills, has a soft spot for late-night tots, and likes to put down others before even meeting them.

What’s even more likely though, is that the majority of well-intentioned folks wishing to engage in meaningful conversation on a variety of topics will never cultivate an e-connection with @hipstertwitterfail (someone should grab that handle for kicks). First impressions are often the last impression when it comes to social media profiles. Take the time to thoughtfully write out what it is that you are on Twitter for and what potential and current followers will get from following you.

Let’s take a look at a revised @hipstertwitterfail bio that would be better suited for this elitist schmoe.

“Purveyor of #fashion by day, #streetfood and #drinkcraftbeer enthusiast by night. Follow at your own risk!”

Including hashtags in one’s Twitter bio now auto-generates a link to all tweets containing that tag. Thus, searching for existing hashtags to use is the wise choice when implementing this tool for bio blasts. For instance, #drinkcraftbeer has been in use with micro brew fans for some time, and tagging your page (and more importantly tweets) with this will immediately put you right in the fold with those who share the interest.

What’s even more abusive to social media channels than spam is one-way conversation. If @hipstertwitterfail needs to satisfy an undying urge to thumb out meaningless tweets for self-gratification, then he/she has the ability and right to. You see, spam can be controlled since it’s obviously against the TOS. What Biz Stone and the guys behind the 140 character craze can’t boot from their servers are folks who fill the airwaves with what I refer to as throwaways. (I’ll be sure to hop behind a keyboard again in the near future to discuss the difference between throwaway posts on both Twitter, Facebook, and beyond.)

Out of this is born three types of users.

1) Active conversationalists (two-way communication, actively seeking others’ feedback)
2) Readers/Pushers (one-way communication of 100% browsing or mimicking RSS)
3) e-Bums (occasionally interact with other users, but generally provide no value to the ’sphere)

Do yourself and everyone else a favor, avoid #3, and do your best to at least be found somewhere between #2 and #1. I guarantee your tweeting experience will be more fulfilling if you take advantage of the amazing, instant interaction that a platform like this can provide. All it takes is that one retweet, one reply, one direct message filled with 140 keystrokes (or less) of info you wouldn’t have otherwise had, and you’ll see the light. Social media: it is what you make of it!